Tuesday, September 28, 2010

The Pet Peeve Text Thread

Wow, before I begin, I just wanted to extend a huge THANK YOU to everyone who was so sweet in response to my last post.  Your encouragement is really appreciated!  You'll be happy to know that I did not find one job to apply for last week, and it looks to be about the same for this week.  It's a good thing that pesky recession is all over!

So one of the things that my brother, Ryan, and I bond over is our mutual hatred of stupid things that routinely go on during the course of living.  I estimate that a good 50% of my day (and that's probably an optimistic estimate) is spent being annoyed about something, whether it's waiting at a stoplight or just sitting at home watching TV -  AHEM Elizabeth Hasselbeck AHEM!!!

This bond has birthed a regular texting thread for Ryan and me, wherein we text each other during the day with our pet peeves.  This has turned into a rather lengthy diatribe for us, and I feel compelled to share it with others in the hopes that we aren't alone in our annoyances. This conversation takes place over the course of the last weekend, and is the only way we have communicated since last month.  What a loving sibling relationship we have!

Editor's Note: For a quick rundown on Ryan and his partner, Ben, please check the Meet the B-Sides page for a summary of their strangeness.

We'll put Ryan in blue (for BOY), and me in purple (for GIRL) - yay gender roles!

Thursday, September 23:

Pet peeve:  People who say "guac" instead of guacamole.
Another pet peeve:  People who take a dump at work.

Bi: Ugh!  Totally agree!
Pet peeve: Girls who only call their friends when their boyfriend is out of town.  Grrr!

Friday, September 24:

Pet peeve: Women who only talk about their kids.  Do they have their own identity anymore??

Pet peeve: People who update their FB status every five minutes.  Nobody cares what you had for dinner!
Pet peeve:  When people put incredibly personal things on their FB status, just waiting for the pity comments to rush in.  Seriously, get a therapist!!

No wonder they're making a big stink about education lately.
*Note: I just realized I forgot to put facial features on the two dumbasses on the bottom.  Oh, well, I guess they are too stupid for facial features.

Pet peeve: People who take naps at work.  
And another pet peeve:  Massages.  Keep your fu#$#@ hands to yourself!

Pet peeve: People who don't use their signal lights while driving.  Is it so hard to move your hand to the !@#@!! lever??!

Here's one more to round out the list:  People whose names are Hunter, Trey, or Topher.

Saturday, September 25:

Pet peeve:  Mothers who act like they deserve special treatment just because they have a kid.  When I hold the f#@$ing door for you, say thank you!!

Pet peeve: People who park in "Compact Only" parking spots in the parking ramp with huge SUVs.  Can't they read, or are they too stupid to know what a "compact" is??!!?

Pet peeve:  When the elevator goes to the top of the building before it stops at mine.  I hate everyone from the 20th floor!

Pet peeve: When you are telling a really long story to someone and at the end of it the person says, "What?"  GRRRRRRRRR!

Pet peeve: People who call a tuna sandwich TUNAFISH!  aaaargghh

Sunday, September 26:

Pet peeve: People who stand in the middle of the aisle at the store and when you say "Excuse me", they move a quarter of an inch so you still have to practically knock them over to get by.  HATE THAT!

Pet peeve: Knowing you're mad at someone but you can't remember why.  I always feel robbed.
Bi: Hahaha, I don't think that's ever happened to me!
Ry: Try living with Ben.  It would happen every day.  Selective amnesia is what's kept this relationship alive for 18 years.

Monday, September 27:

Pet peeve: People who talk extremely loud in a restaurant that is otherwise quiet or empty.  The whole world does not give a s@#! about who you made out with when you were drunk!!!!
Another pet peeve:  Extremely loud and annoying laughter.  Unless Eddie Izzard is at your f@#$@ng table, there's no need for that.  I'd rather listen to a screaming child.

Pet peeve: Able bodied people who take the elevator to go one floor.
Pet peeve:  Idiots who get in their car and the alarm goes off.  Bonus points if they can't figure out how to turn it off.

Pet peeve:  People who don't respond to text messages or e-mails because they're soooooooo busy!  It takes two seconds to respond to a text, and even less to respond to an email.  Get a clue.
Pet peeve:  Cats who don't shut the f@#k up.

This is kind of what I look like when I'm fuming about these stupid things.  Cute, huh?

We are definitely shiny happy people, aren't we?

What are your pet peeves?  Please feel free to add to the list in the "Comment" box, chances are I agree with all of them.  


Anonymous said...

I live in NC. You know the moment you cross the state line (any of them) that you are in NC because the air here suddenly makes people into the worst effing drivers on the planet. Nearly every driver in this state is a pet peeve of mine.

But now I am curious about the etymology of the phrase 'pet peeve' and now have to go nerd out and look it up....

theTsaritsa said...

I totally agree with you on the TMI facebook updates. Save it for your diary!

Sarah said...

Here are some of my pet peeves: 1. People who send texts that simply say the letter K. Quit wasting my freakin' time with that crap! 2. People who constantly say, "huh?" after everything you say, when you know damn well they heard you. I refuse to repeat myself! 3. People who are fundamentally incapable of parking in a single parking space and subsequently door ding my car when they try to squeeze out of theirs.

PS: Love your brother! I just ate lunch with my own brother today and spent the entire hour having a similar conversation. :)

Anonymous said...

I freaking hate it when people slurp their spaghetti or soup. We would have spaghetti night at my house when I was little and my brothers and cousins hated sitting next to me because I would punch them if they slurped.

I also hate it when people scrape their teeth with their fork. Or scrape their plates with their knives. Or scrape metal pots with metal spoons.

I hate it when people look at an item in the store and if it doesn't have a price tag they say, "It must be free!" Not it's not fucking free you dumbass this is a store shut the fuck up.

As you can tell I get a little heated over the last one Heidi Pratt :)

Bi said...

@whisperofboys: Hahaha, people say the same thing about Minnesota, and ESPECIALLY about this God-forsaken town I live in. Drivers here are by far the worst I have EVER experienced!

@Tsarita: I know!! I don't understand why people don't seem to have a working filter!!

@Sarah: I am in total agreement with all of those! Particularly the "huh?" one, I HATE it when I have to repeat myself!!!

@elleswim: Hahahaha, you are just like my mom!! She HATES it when people scrape their utensils on anything! I too hate the slurping, I mean seriously. Get some manners!!

Sara said...

People who breathe loudly.

Is that too much?

I mean, if we're sitting down, eating dinner.... you should not be breathing like you just ran a triatholon, right?

Anonymous said...

I hate just about every single one of those things myself. My sister and I do the same thing during work. It's unreal the amount of dumb stuff co workers and customers say/do!

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

"I hate everyone from the 20th floor!" made me lol because I hate elevators. I'm on the top floor in my building, and that's only 4, but I still fudgin' hate it. I HATE ELEVATORS.

Okay. Sorry.

Bye now.


AFon said...

haha I pretty much agree with you guys on all your pet peeves. People have the dumbest status updates on Facebook, I will unfriend people for stealing time out of my life to read about how their new baby looks so cute sleeping. So dumb!



grumpy said...

Taking a dump at work? Hey, when you gotta go you gotta go - we aren't on 6th grade camp anymore ;)

Noisy breathers and chewers do my head in.

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