Thursday, February 24, 2011

You Can Fry Me Up Some SPAM Anytime.

I'm in a sour mood today.  I have a pretty good idea of why, and it may or may not have everything to do with a continued lack of communication from graduate school, which is starting to royally piss me off!  Plus, my right nostril hurts like a motherfucker, and I have no idea why!  Seriously, I didn't pick it.  Swearsies!  I must have bruised it when I was trying to smother myself with my pillow this morning to avoid seeing a rejection from my chosen graduate school.  Ahem.

I did get a little bit of a smile when I checked my stats and comments on my last entry, though, so I thought I would try to perk myself up some more by sharing some of my findings.  First, I was perusing all of your thoughtful and encouraging comments, and I came across this:

SPAM!!  SAAA-WEEEEEEET!

You know you've hit the big time when you've got spam comments!  But then, while I was chuckling over the idea of some idiot helping people take the GRE who actually says, "I like your writing way", it occurred to me that I have read that particular comment before!  Could it be that I have indeed been spammed (is that a word?) in the past, and just never noticed???  So, I scoured my old blog entries, and to my delight, I ran into this on a different entry from October:

I never forget poor grammar!

Why Lee, you dirty dog, are you stalking me??!  Calling yourself "pro" won't throw me off the trail, no siree!! Trying to talk to me under the guise of "GRE tutoring" most certainly won't work, mister, because I already took the damn test!  Thanks for playing, though.  I guess I can't fault you for your efforts.  For any future test takers, though, perhaps you want to give "Lee" or "pro" or whatever he would like to be called a jingle.

Editor's Note:  Just to see if this mystery man (or woman?) resurfaces, I am tagging this as a "GRE" post again.  I will laugh heartily if "Lee" continues to like my "writing way"!  

Also, another funny thing caught my eye in my search keywords from my stats:

Evidently incontinence is a widespread problem.

Editor's Note:  Don't worry folks, I haven't peed my pants since I was a wee tot!  I just titled an entry "I'm So Excited I'm Going to Pee My Pants!" after finishing that God-forsaken test for graduate school.  Swearsies.  You can check it out here!


I won't venture a guess as to why bladder bursting is such a popular search, but I'm curious if my blog was helpful to them?  I'm thinking not.  My favorite is definitely "exploding to pee i'm about to pee my pants"... Don't you think they probably could have run to a bathroom in the time it took them to write that?  Justsaying.

Also, "waiting for my thorazine"?  Niiiice.  Hope they were able to pass the time with minimal hallucinations and paranoia after reading my astounding wit.  Ahem.

~Bi~

4 comments:

Meri said...

Dear Bi,
I like your writing way. Perhaps I can interest you in a vodka tutorial? Come visit my website at merigoesround.blogspot.com
How do I do as a spammer? Vegetarian spam, that is... hope you hear back about school soon love :)

theTsaritsa said...

Those search terms are hilarious! Did you write about peeing in your pants before? I must have missed that entry!

Ugh, and spam is no fun. But at least it was somewhat relevant spam?

Bi said...

Hahaha, no I didn't write about peeing in my pants! I was overly excited one day and the title to the post was "I'm so happy I'm going to pee my pants!" or something... Perhaps I should clarify that in the entry! Haha!

Anonymous said...

This was a hilarious post!