Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Yay for Vacay!

Hello my lovelies!  I know you will all be devastated over the next week or so, but I shall be vacationing in sunny/hot/humid Florida and will therefore be unavailable!  Oh, the horror!!!!  But I shall have many stories upon my return from the "happiest place on Earth", I am sure...  Given my propensity for children, I'm sure I'll have a blast... HA! HA! HA!

Before I go, though, I wanted to share something rather amusing I stumbled across yesterday that provided me with several minutes of entertainment when I should have been packing.  In fact, I should be packing right now, but instead I'm taking screen shots and writing on my blog!  But I figured if you guys got half the chuckles out of this that I did, then it would be totes worth it.

So yesterday, it occurred to me that companies are now posting jobs on that creepfest known as Craigslist, a forum which I have yet to explore in my almost nonexistent exhausting job search.  So, I hop on over to the local Craigslist page, only to be distracted by the following:

Hot damn!  Maybe I'm in there!!


I figured that the "Missed connections" link would lead me to some rather amusing, pathetic pleas for love based on a fleeting interaction at a bar or in the checkout line at Home Depot, and boy, was I right!

The first is an illustration of how funny it is to live in a smaller city:

In case you can't read it and are too lazy to click on it (for shame!), it says "Your name is Darell I think, and you were in the Men's room with one of us, then helped us out just after that.  We both thought you were hot.  We are an older/younger male couple who love to share... wish you could have come home with us to set things up!"

That must have been some run-in in the bathroom!!  Ahem.

But anyway, the reason this is funny is because the lovely Darell sold me this fine piece of merchandise on which I am typing this very blog!  I remember because I, too, thought he was a cutie pie, so much so that the little shit talked me into opening yet another credit card!  That stinker.  Evidently this generous homosexual couple felt the same!  I laughed for at least a few minutes when I thought about little Darrell, blissfully unaware that there is a Craigslist listing for his services on the interwebs.  Who knew Best Buy had such a hot commodity in its midst?

Then there was this one:

"Hey you walked out of target and I was working... no I wasn't a cashier lol, I think we noticed each other and you were beautiful and had a few bags in your hands.. I don't think this works but if it does perfect!!! :) hope to hear from you!!!"

Holy shit, the other day I think I happened to make eye contact with the cart boy on my way out of the store!  OMG WHAT IF THIS IS FOR ME??!??!  Or maybe it was for the woman behind me, who ALSO had bags in her hands!  Or the woman in front of me, who ALSO had bags in HER hands!!?  HOW WILL I KNOW FOR SURE??!

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say there are probably an average of 100 or more beautiful women who walk out of Target with bags in their hands every day.  Nice going, idiot!

Also, I like how he says "I wasn't a cashier lol", as if working at a Target store as a cashier is any more or less embarrassing than anything else one might do there...  Unless of course he was some hot assistant manager or door greeter, in which case, LET ME AT HIM!!

Perhaps I'll have to stop by that little corner of Craigslist from now on when I need a good laugh.  Unfortunately, the job search was a letdown, but that's probably because I spent like an hour looking at the missed connections until I had little time left for actual productivity.  Ahem.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a lovely weekend, and I shall see you all next week after I get done getting sun raped and restraining myself from hitting small children!

~Bi~

11 comments:

Apfel said...

This was so funny! ROFL. Bon Voyage :)

Erin like it's hot. said...

Have fun in Florida. See if you can meet up with Lor, that would be a.maze.ing


Also, that was totally me, he was talking about. So there. Oh, and I was behind you. Uh, hi--you know, from then.

beanditch said...

Well. I know what I'll be doing for the rest of the day now...

Meri said...

Oh man, Abbey and I used to read these all of the time and laugh at them. Then one time I found myself in one, and stopped reading. It was not in fact a "missed connection" as I refused to give the character my number, but I guess he was confused...

Have a great trip!

Johnny Madrid aka Tim E. said...

Looks like I've got an award to give away after all! You've just won the versatile blogger award (if you don't have it already). Congrats and come pick up your badge here http://thetimebi.blogspot.com/2011/04/award.html
Have a great vacation! :)

Nicki said...

I LOVE that you recognized the Best Buy listing! That seriously just made my year. Craigslist, I love you.

ShellyTalks said...

I LOVE missed connections. I make it a point to check out missed connections at least once a week!

Anonymous said...

LMAO I love the stuff you find :) Have a great holiday!!xx

theTsaritsa said...

Missed Connections is always a good laugh. I have had some luck with CL for job searches, but it's hit or miss.

Cassie said...

OMFG am currently checking out my local missed connections and am enjoy it whole-heartedly. One is male-for-male. They made awkward eye contact at a CHUCK-E-CHEESE. PRICELESS.

Cassie said...

*enjoying... ugh