Monday, May 16, 2011

It's Not Who You Know, It's How Low You're Willing To Sink

Bonjour!!  I hope everyone had weekends filled with laughter, libations, and <insert another positive L word here>!  Mine was spent partying like a rock star on Friday to the point of pass-outage, followed by splitting headache, and then hangover recovery for the rest of the weekend.  While normally the post-debauchery nausea sees me bemoaning the consumption of alcohol and/or forsaking it all together for a day or two months, this time I have to say the hangover was TOTES worth it!  I got to fulfill my lifelong dream of banging a tambourine to a cover of Jet's "Be My Girl" (well, only for like half a song because the band took it away from me... Drunkenness is not conducive to keeping a steady beat, damnit!!), screaming singing "Livin' on a Prayer" on stage like a drunken rock star, and running around hugging strangers like they're my BFFs.  Embarrassing?  Sure.  Fun?  HELLZ YEAH!

This is what happens when you drink too much.
I'm the asshole with the hawt sweatband,  making out with the mic, FYI.  Ahem.

So I've officially abandoned the whole vacation posty-thingy in favor of girly gushes about my various music crushes (that rhymed!!), and now, venting about the pit stain of life that employment can be.  Or lack thereof, I should say.  I know I said a while back that there was nothing more demoralizing than swimsuit shopping, but boy was I wrong.  Please substitute the words "swimsuit shopping" with "job searching".

Allow me to explain.  A looooong time ago, like when I first started this blog, I had vented about a particular experience I had with a job interview at a local company.  You can find that post here, and I highly recommend you read it (but then come back!!) to get the full gist of why this recent development has annoyed me so much.  I'll summarize the experience here:

Once upon a time, there was a SAWEEET job at a local company I applied for.  I got an interview, and then another, and then another... All for that same position.  They laughed, they cried, it was all out of a dream.  They called my references, which I was led to believe was the last step before they would call me and tell me that I'm the most awesome applicant they ever had and of COURSE I got the job!  But alas, I waited, and waited and waited, until one day, to my horror, I see this on the Internet job bank:

Very classy.
Niiiiice.  Never heard from them again.

Months later, an acquaintance of mine who works at said company sent me an e-mail informing me that there was another job opening there, and that he talked to the woman I interviewed with before and she "encouraged" me to reapply, as they now had someone on staff who could supervise me (I'm an unlicensed therapist, which is far more complicated an issue that I'm willing to dive into here.  Suffice to say if there's no one qualified to sign off on my paperwork, I can't work there.).  So I reapplied.  And hot damn!  I got YET ANOTHER interview.

Recap so far:  I have already whored myself out three times for this job.  Now I get to do it AGAIN, even though the woman already knows who I am, knows my credentials, and I am fairly certain she knows they haven't changed since I interviewed the last time.

So, after purchasing a smokin' new outfit and practicing my interview lines, I get all dolled up and I go to the interview.  I walk into a room with the same five people I interviewed with before, which was all kinds of awkward.  But then, as I sit down, I notice that the woman leading the pack not only handed me the SAME sheet of questions I answered last time, but actually had my answers from last time sitting right in front of her!!

I thought to myself, "Um, would you excuse me?  I need to go make up some different answers real quick.  Thanks much."  I instead opted for answering the questions the exact same way I had last time... Consistency must count for something, right?  Ahem.

Long story short, I didn't completely fuck up the interview (it would have been hard to do that since I had already answered the questions once.. Ahem.), so I thought I had it in the bag.  But yet again, I waited and waited and waited, and what did I get in my Inbox about a month later?

AKA, "You suck.  You didn't get the job."
This rejection kindly arrived the week after my graduate school rejection, so it was an awesome month of April, y'all.  But whatevs.  What will be, will be, right?

Well, this morning this arrived in my e-mail:

Okay, I didn't get the job, but you can't even spell COUNSELOR correctly?
There's nothing about this that isn't insulting.

Seriously, what is wrong with these people??!??!  Not only can they clearly not hire a person who wants to stay there, but evidently they can't spell either.  Perhaps it was a Career Builder issue, but I choose to believe that they are huge idiots who can't even use spell check.  I mean, obviously they must be stupid if they've passed me up twice, RIGHT?!!

I briefly considered applying for a third time just to be funny, but I don't think my pride can handle it.  Besides, clearly it isn't such a great job after all considering they've had to repost this job FOUR times within the last year.  Dodged a bullet?  Probably.  But it's still hella irritating.

I guess it's back to the bar for me.  It seems the only thing I'm wanted for these days is drinking too much beer and dancing around....

Wait, I think that particular job is called a "stripper"... There's a rather classy gentleman's club down the highway a bit, perhaps I'll just have to go submit my resume.  Surely they are in need of some dancing psychotherapists...




theTsaritsa said...

I feel you. After months of being rejected for jobs I feel would benefit my career, I finally bit the bullet and applied at a temp agency. It sucks out there right now.

Melbourne on my mind said...

WOW. What a bunch of douche canoes! The least they could do is send you a form letter saying that you didn't get the job, yaknow?! Although I applied for a job a couple of years ago where they sent me a letter a month after applications closed saying that they'd received my application and would be in touch soon, and then I never heard from them again.


Give it two months and I'll be joining you in unemployment land. Hurrah???

Bi said...

@Tsarita: Ugh, I'm about at that point, too.. I did doctor my resume to make me look qualified for office work, but I haven't yet signed up for temp work... Perhaps I should wait until my unemployment runs out? Ha!

@Melbourne: Ugh! That same thing has happened to me countless times! People are so rude.. As if it isn't demoralizing enough to have to whore yourself out to them, then you don't even get the decency of a "sorry, you suck". Sorry to hear of your pending unemployment, hope you find something else soon!!!

Meri said...

I WISH I could have been there with the tambourine. I'm pretty sure I was in bed post- moving extravaganza at approximately 8 o clock. You could always come work at my place of work, if you aren't interested in much of a paycheck...

Kev D. said...

I wouldn't worry, I heard that Mental Health Counselor II isn't as good as the first one.

Sequels usually suck.

Except Empire.

Bi said...

@Meri: Your presence was sorely missed, my dear!!

@Kev: Hahaha, good one! Something tells me I is just as shitty as II is just as shitty as anything at that damn company. Ugh!

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