Thursday, May 5, 2011

You Can Have My Autograph If You Ask Nicely

Holy crap, guys, my street cred has pretty much sprouted through the damn roof this week!  Between my Twitter make-out session with G. Love and what I'm about to tell you, you guys are totes going to be offering me sexual favors and/or candy and cigarettes to hang out with you.  Yeah, I'm pretty sure!!

I don't know how popular this show is, but my mom has been watching "The Voice", an Idol knock-off that adds a little twist in that the four judges can't actually see the performer until after they've heard them sing.  I'm not too sure about the whole premise of the show, but I gather that the judges choose contestants to "mentor", after which they all compete for some big prize at the end that is likely a contract that results in dismally sad record sales and even worse songwriting.

Anyway, the other night, a local (as in, from Minnesota) musician named Tim Mahoney auditioned. Before I go on, it's important that you watch the video (but I'll put a little recap after in case you are too lazy to listen to his warbling and subsequent HILARIOUS critique from the judges.)

Okay, so here's the recap:  Tim warbles his Sam Cooke classic, and Adam Levine hits his button like 10 seconds into it, indicating that he is interested in mentoring Tim on his team.  The other three judges (Cee-Lo, the incredibly-fake-looking-and-really-stupid Christina Aguilera, and some country guy I've never heard of) refrain from pushing their buttons.  In his feedback, Adam tells Tim, "Things are going to get weird, because I thought you were a chick!"

Oooh, snap!  Poor Tim looked very sad, but I guess he gets the last laugh because he gets to work with the guy anyway.  Also, I love how that last guy is all, "Oh, I'm glad what's-his-name pushed his button, 'cuz if he didn't I was maybe going to.  You two will make a great couple!".. AKA, I feel like an asshole that I didn't turn around for you, and I can't think of anything nice to say, so I'm just going to be grateful to the poor dick who DID push his button.  PHEW! 

Anyway, here's my back story with Mr. Mahoney:

Back when I was freshly 21 and frequented local bars and performances regularly, Tim was one of my FAVORITES.  In fact, I am embarrassed to admit that I nicknamed him "Tim My-Honey", bought all his CDs, and generally made an ass out of myself anytime he was around.  We even took a few shots together, mostly of Jagermeister, after which I may or may not have run to the bathroom and wretched for a few minutes.  Anyway, here's the proof:

Oops, wrong photo.  #drunkphotographer

Yay!!!  Groupies!!!

Just a sidenote, my friend who was taking the picture was SO drunk that night that she accidentally put the camera on "Video", so I have a video of my ex-friend and Tim and I standing there waiting for the picture to be snapped.  I believe I then slurred said articulately, "What the hell is taking so long??!"

Here's another one, just in case you didn't believe me. 

Schmoozing with My-Honey on a different night.
Holy shit, look how short my hair was then!
Yeah, that's right.  I know y'all want to party with me now.

Good luck to Mr. Mahoney, I hope all your dreams come true!  Once I get a job, I'll gladly buy you a shot of Jag to celebrate like old times....If I can find time in between lunch with Aniston and manicures with Andy Cohen.  'Cuz I'm cool like dat.



lalalalauren said...

Haha! I don't normally watch reality tv, but I was sick the other night and somehow got sucked into watching "The Voice." I definitely laughed when Adam thought Tim was a chick. And I'm laughing more now that I know you have an epic Tim Mahoney connection.

Apparently this is your week to brush with fame and increase your street cred! Can I have your autograph? Pretty pleeeeease? :P

theTsaritsa said...

I'd definitely party with you!! That's so cool that you have these photos, and it's adorable that you call him "Tim-my-honey!!"

Meri said...

I looked quite closely at the first photo to make sure "not my friend anymore" wasn't me, like the narcissist I am, then realized that that chick is a foot or two taller than me.
Just so you know where my priorities are haha.
Miss you!

Bi said...

@Lauren: YES, you can!!! Just send me some of your panties and I shall sign them and send them off. Ha! (JK, of course. Ahem.)

@Tsarita: OMG, we would have such a rad time partying. I'll let you know if I'm ever in the bay area, since I'm guessing you will NOT be frequenting the Minneapolis area anytime soon. Haha!

@Meri: OMG, that could NEVER be you!!! You silly goose! Sheesh, I know we haven't seen each other in some time but you need never worry about that!! ;)

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I know a girl who knows a guy who's on TV, THIS IS SO COOL. ;)

I'm not big into these contestanty type shows, but that little bit of banter was pretty funny. Probably because Christina stayed out of most of it.

Bi, just remember me when you're on a one way train to super stardom, okay?

Sara said...

I love this show, and I'm so glad I know this little tidbit of knowledge.

I had a friend from high school go on to America's Best Dance Crew, and I felt like the coolest person of ever because of it.