I mean, 30.
WAAAAAAAAHHHHHH I AM ALMOST 30, PEOPLE!!!
I have to admit, though, that my almost-30-year-old friends and I really know how to party it up when the time comes, as evidenced by our shenanigans last Friday night:
Clearly I should abandon my "career" as a
Anyway, on to bigger and better things...
Luckily for all of you, extreme blog neglect SOMETIMES results in a little blog-lovin', which has occurred thanks to the lovely and talented Ruby from There is More Than One Kind of Me... As a result of her kind transmission of her "11 things" meme, I finally have some material to blog about. Hot Damn!!! Here it goes:
11 THINGS THAT ARE ONLY MILDLY BORING ABOUT MOI:
1. I fucking hate the following words: "ginormous", "uber-ANYTHING", and "moist".
2. I FUCKING HATE the following phrases: "I could care less" (Um, DUH. You are an idiot.), "Cool beans." (Beans are NOT cool, in fact, they make my asshole feel like they are on fire.), and "It is what it is." (Thanks for that incredibly unhelpful and obvious statement. You truly are a Ghandi in my life.)
3. I only pretend to like the Real Housewives of ___Blank_____, since other people really seem to like them. Truthfully, they are kind of fascinating due to their untreated mental illness, but I find it hard to stay focused on their idiocy for long.
4. I have a crush on Sam Neill.
|Oh come on. You know you agree.|
6. I have no desire to get married. Unless it's to a pro athlete or an actor who is out of town A LOT.
7. My cat has dingleberries and I don't know how to rid him of them. GROSS!
8. I have a burning and undying hatred for alfredo sauce. I know it's only cheese, but it really looks, smells, and tastes unpleasant. Excuse me while I go puke.
9. Is it just me, or is Ricky Martin like the best guy ever??!
10. Once I find out that a celebrity is a Republican, I instantly dislike them. This makes me judgmental... (in case you didn't know that already.)
|Sorry Kelly, I know you're heartbroken, but that whole "Ron Paul" thing really turned me off. Just remember, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!" Kthanksbai.|
11. Sometimes, when other people are sarcastic, I take it personally... Which is pretty ironic, considering I myself am quite sarcastic. It's that whole "sarcasm masks insecurity" thing, I think.
WOWZA, those were some "interesting" facts!
Here's a few more, courtesy of Ruby:
1. If you could have any job in the world, regardless of income, qualifications etc, what would it be? I would most definitely be the person who picks music for movies and TV. Only then every movie I did would be populated with 80's and 90's one hit wonders.
2. What is your most "uncool" hobby? I like to hang out with my mom... Um, my mom is hilarious, y'all. Suck it.
3. If you could only change one thing about your life in 2012 what would it be? Most definitely my job.
4. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Pretty sure every copy of Elizabethtown can be gathered up and burned and I would sit in the background and laugh!
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live? Hawaii probably... Those people never work, you know. They just sit around in bikinis and drink cocktails with little umbrellas in them.
6. What is your favourite possession? My Little Martin guitar. I can't play for shit, but it looks cute sitting in my apartment.
7. Which movie/tv star did you have a crush on growing up? Jonathan Taylor Thomas, OF COURSE!! I saw "Man of the House" like a dozen times in the theater... Ahem.
8. What is your favourite joke or random quote? It's a Sarah Palin joke that is insanely mean, so I'm not going to answer. It may or may not have something to do with one of her children. AHEM.
9. Are you a Grease or Grease 2 person? There's a Grease 2?
10. Favourite Simpson's character? I always had a soft spot for Millhouse... He is one sad little boy!
11. Do you need a 'friend' with you in order to eat KFC? Oh hell no! YUM, bring on the coleslaw!!